1) Most women's clothing stores are dull, most stores in a mall are women's clothing stores, ergo malls are mostly dull.
2) Even small rugs are heavy, and get heavier with time due to perculiar shopping bag physics.
3) My puritan upbring lasted about two hours. Evidence: price of first purchase $15, price of last purchase two hours later $285. Cue Emily running from the mall in horror.
4) Eighties retro fashions are back, see 3.
5) They make Lindt truffles in flavors I didn't even know about. Extra dark, mint, raspberry. OMG.
6) Tell me that I don't need a Hello Kitty toaster. Even if it does put kitty faces on the toast.
7) If God didn't want me to go to the mall there wouldn't be a free trolley service that starts outside my neighbour's place. Okay, my neighbour is a convention centre, but all the same.
8) How do they design a single building so that I get lost every three steps?
9) How can a whole enormous mall not have anyone who sells a simple padlock?
10) When is payday?