SEO Dweebs

Every since I took down my site 'veinglory.com' I have been receiving emails for SEO companies promising to make my site rocket up the ranks with Google, Bing et al.  I receive one of these emails every week or so.  This is now my stock response:

"Wow.  I am so impressed with your astounding SEO skills.

Have you considered that my site is "not ranking in the most important search engines" because it doesn't actually exist?

I mean, I am only an amateur, but I suspect that might be it."